Shocks and radium

This person thinks that there's radium in his computer, and that somehow him ripping open a keyboard is "breaking and entering" on the part of Microsoft...

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In July 2004 I Purchased a Gateway Computer.I was ignorant of any knowledge of how to use one.On the advertising it said easy 1-2-3 start,it said nothing of what would happen over the next year because of immature sorts at windows,microsoft,gateway...etc.I purchased another gateway computer in feb.2005,windows updates downloaded memory from my 1st computer,I recieved electrical shocks more then once contributing with the radioactive content inside the computer(which there is no warning of that) I endured frustration because I do not know of computers and trying to learn.I have discovered just how your process works with the combination of electrons in radium through wire.I made the mistake of trying to learn by ripping apart a keyboard exposing myself to this self sustaining wire,believe it or not I was just trying to learn.Well I purchased my 3rd computer with 1 year in May of 2005,I studied the best I could,called Microsoft who said it was impossible for memory to carry over yet I have evidence that is just what windows 32 as done,I also believe this to have serious implication to breaking and entering as well as enough to cause frustration for your company,if I have to I will do the sameting to prove what I know in a court of law despite death threats to me and my family.

First up....

What I like to call, "The Saga of Christmas '96". To summarize: this is a series of e-mails from a guy who claims to have been hired by Mr. Bill Gates himself to commit some kind of crime, and now (9 years later) he's demanding to be paid for it. Sure, pal.
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Subject: pay for work xmas 96
dear Bill Gates: i cant believe u havent read my msg.. but rather than get upset i will try some more..u think ignoring me will make it go away.. not! if u pay me u will be covered..i cant think of any reason u have not to..if u want distance from Boulder and all that of xmas96,then send me my due..u like shark frenzy of press?'sounds self destructive to me.well that's what u r in 4 if u ignore my requests for money..get bax r a mf'r..u know that..i thot u were an honorable man..that was before..this is now..maybe Gary Geddes will get u off..or not..its ur move Bill..yours truly
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Subject: Bill Gates fyeo..pay for services rendered xmas 96
Dear Bill Gates: u hired me personally .. i dont think i should talk about the terms of the arrangement or the arrangement with any one but you.. i am not about to talk to authorities until i figure u dont care what happens. That is why it would be in your best interests to expidite this matter asap.I dont want to share this with an attorney or collector .Seattle Boys charge too much to collect.I figure since u caused the problem u should solve it..yours truly (big muscle bound red haired dude. combat vet)
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Subject: Bill Gates fyeo..pay for services rendered xmas 96
Bill Gates :i can tell u that i was hired in Alameda Cal by Bill.. no specifics were given. only "What would you do for money?" i agreed and was flown to Denver on a private Learjet.I was put on another plane and flown to Boulder. I was in a house and got a master disk.. i was taken to a road and flown to Vegas . i was then flown to Alameda. this took four days. i was confronted by two guys at my boat when i got bak there.. they tied me up and threw me into Alameda canal..i survived and moved my boat to San Leandro then Fisherman's Wharf..i have been in Mexico for five years.. i have not been paid and the last time i talked to any one connected to the deal was '98 when i ran into Paul Allen at fisherman's wharf on Jone's Street.. He didn't have my money. shortly thereafter i got paranoid and left the city..i was being watched pretty close and didn't want to take any chances..Bill is so insulated from the public that i don't see much chance of ever getting paid..without going to some drastic measure..like suing him..it would bring him lots of unwanted attn.. guaranteed.!yours truly,
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Subject: please pay me for four days work.
dear Bill Gates: u hired me personally xmas 96. i was flown via lear jet to Denver co. then by plane to Boulder where i got u the disk u wanted from J.R. i was picked up and flown to Vegas where i delivered the disk. i was flown bak to Alameda Ca. . i expected pay but was rudely intercepted. please pay me. its ur responsibility ,no one elses. contact Portland Or. Considering how important the disk was and the trouble i went thru to get it the price for my services is $150grand. i dont play stupid games with my clients. If push comes to shove u will find out how serious i am. W/out a doubt! urs truly ..rsvp asap.ps. i was approached by Paul Allen in SF 1998 at fisherman's wharf.(during grand opening of Steelhead Brewery) he has a stake in this. if u have questions about ne of this ask him.
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Subject: requesting pay for job..Ascasa
dear Bill Gates: we met xmas96 in Stone boat yard. u asked me some personal questions and hired me on the spot. i was flown via leerjet to Denver and then farther on by another plane.i was gone four days. when i returned two guys were w8ing at my boat . they tied me up and threw me into Alameda canal behind your yacht. i would say it was yours.i survived and have been laying low foru nine years.. unwilling to take a chance on being caught again by ur friends..i want lots of money for my rude treatment.. get bak to me asap.
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Subject: pay 4work 1996
Dear Bill Gates: please send me pay for work during xmas 06.. U hired me and sent me on a n errand via leerjet to Denver. i got ur disk 4u but u never paid me..send $110Grand to portland ore.. tks asap.i got tapes but no dir..
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Subject: the problem we have here...
bill gates: please pay me for work i did for u personally xmas 96. if u dont remember let me refresh u. i met u at Stone boatyard Alameda Cal. u asked me some personal stuff and then sent me via leer jet to colorado.. i want money not a run a round.i have been sent pillar to post and spent considerable time tracking u down..i worked four days and was nearly killed getting u what u wanted..ask ur friend Paulo Allen what transpired during my stay in colorado..on your dime..i ran into him in 1998 but i couldn't very well talk biz w/him in front of strangers. give me his addy..please.. if he is responsible for part payment of my fee then let me get it from him..send$$ 110G's to me yours truly portland or. asap..rsvp acknowledge please..
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Subject: bill gates hired me personally xmas '96
dear Bill Gates.. if u remember ..u hired me to do a job xmas 1996..we met in Stone Boat yard Alameda Cal.. u interviewed me. i accepted site unseen.. i was flown to Denver then North over Boulder.. i bailed out near the target and got in the house.. i recovered a disk.. then by way of a tunnel i esc..enuf info Bill? i want u to pay me..$10 grand to my mother and $100 G's to . Portland Or..asap.. stay out of trouble..yours truly ..
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Subject: pay for mission accomplished.
dear Bill Gates: u hired me xmas96 for unspecified job. i found out what it was and did as i was ordered.. now comes the pay off. i am going to give u my mothers adress in idaho send her $10 grand post haste forthwith. i then want u to send $100grand to . Failure to do so in a timely matter will get u more publicity than u ever want.it will be ur worst nitemare..there is no explosive collar around ur nek to force u. and no gun at ur hed. rsvp asap
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Subject: lawsuit,or not? vs bill Gates
i am w8ing patiently.. ne word weather or not mr G8s wants to capitulate.. i want satisfaction.. that means lots of money for my troubles of xmas 96.. he got his ,i want mine.. vehemently urs . please pay me to go away..
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Subject: civil tort.. vs. Bill Gates
dear mr gates: i met u at Stone Boat yard xmas '96. u asked me several questions. u then sent me to an airplane hanger where two Leer jets, Red and a Black,waited. i was interviewed then flown to Denver. i was put on another plane and flown North.ne way u should very well know what we did..and i survived. my hed wasn't blown off. four days later i was returned to Alameda. my boat the was parked behind a large yacht,presumably urs.. i was met by two guys who tied me up and dropped me into alameda canal..i survived..that was the fourth time in as many days attempts were made on my life..if u wish u may pay me with a debit card of unlimited balance.. i have been afraid to seek employment for ten years. i am getting old and need to think about my financial health. i guarantee u 'hush is the word' if u pay promptly. otherwise i will write a screen play detailing my xmas escapade .. the one u hired me to go on.. yours truly
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Subject:
dear Bill Gates:i was hired to work for Stone boat yard in xmas'96.i have not been paid..Bill Gates hired me personnally.i am now contemplating a civil suit.. theft of services..kidnapping and attempted murder 4cts..
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Subject: a money matter..
dear Bill Gates: what is it that i need to do to refresh your memory? This is between you and me Bill..if u want to verify that it was really me u hired contact me...if u want to get technical keep putting me off.J.R. is offering 100 G's should i go with that?get bak to me on this Bill..yours truly
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Subject: pay 4 work
Bill Gates:i have not been paid 4 work i did 4u xmas 96. rsvp. How can u live with urself?Considering what i went thru and what happened getting u the disk.What goeth thru ur mind old frend?what about ur wife and kid?u must be thinking u will cross that bridge wen u come to it..pay 4 ur sins.. that is the ez way out..i used to think u were a brave nerd and took risks. but now i think u got urself in a pikle..it will cost u more to stuff me than it would to satisfy my claim..haven't enuf ppl sffrd? how many of us are still around.. from that original sorte'? not many is my guess.Dangerous minds..i'm sur u have never spoken of the incident to ur wife. or i would be reading about ur impending divorce'..ur dotter is now old enuf to understand what we did. how 'bout if i plant the seed of doubt?Is that what u are waiting 4?to be outed.. ?the time is near Billy boy.just u w8..truly
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Subject: pay 4work 1996
Bill Gates EO: The matter to which i speak. xmas 96 i met u and a few of your frinds in Stone Boatyards alameda Ca. U hired me to perform unk duties. i performed beyond all expectations. i survived even. and i wasn't paid. How 'bout that! It may or may not have been your intention but none the less i was given the bum's rush. I flew in a Red Lear jet to Denver where i was transferred to another prop plane. Are u w/me so far? I was collared and forced to do somethings i am not proud of.. How 'bout that. So where are u at with the payment ? have u given it close scrutiny? prima facie is a thot..I knew one of the pilots.getting enuf of a trail together to convince u ,that is a problem. But i trusted u then..now i have my doubts..can u b trusted?RSVP ASAP your friend and co-defendant (co-conspirator?)

Nutjobs keep my job interesting.

I'm going to post here some of the crazy emails people send to MS. These are real; only the names, e-mail addresses, etc. have been deleted to protect the insane.

Enjoy.