Saturday, November 25, 2006

More customer service goodness

I found another blog that deals with customer service (sort of) that I very much enjoy, called Bannable Offenses. I don't know how much of it is true, but it makes me laugh. It's the blog of a GM for an MMORPG and his daily run-ins with the miscreants that play the game.

Having done billing support for an MMORPG at one time, I can sympathize with his thoughts on these people.

Friday, November 17, 2006


To remind us that it is not only Americans who are crazy, comes this special delivery from India.

Subject :- CURB THE DEFEAT IN THE BUD. I request the Microsoft Tea, Microsoft Representatives and the Governing Board of Microsoft Corporation to help wisely & sincerely my respectable brother Mr. Bill Gates, your Worthy Chairman. As for me, for a few matters beyond my control I am personally unable to visit MICROSPFT CORPORATION, ONE MICROSOFT WAY, REDMOND WA 98502. Do you think I would have stopped anywhere in the world for any reason when the dignity of Microsoft Corporation is at stake. I must make it clear to all of you, that I have no interest in Microsoft Corporation. Why should I be worried about the dignity and / or the future of Microsoft Corporation. It is because of Mr. Bill Gates. Mr. Bill Gates is Worthy Chairman of Microsoft Corporation. I must talk clear and in plain words, that if Mr. Bill Gates were not the Chairman of your Microsoft Corporation, then none in this world can dare to make me worried. And now since Mr. Bill Gates, as person has interests in the Microsoft Corporation. And because the fate of Microsoft Corporation is the fate of my dear, lovable, respectable and affectionate brother and would-be-friend Mr. Bill Gates. Since the dignity of Microsoft Corporation is directly concerned and attatched directly to THE DIGNITY OF MY DEAR BROTHER MR. BILL GATES, I will not and never tolerate any indiscipline of any manner from anywhere in this world. How can I eat food properly when my brother Mr. Bill Gates is in tension. Tell me how can I laugh when my brother Mr. Bill Gates is worried? Let me know from anyone of you how can I live happily and also talk to me why should I be calm, cool and collected, when my brother is living under such circumstances when he cannot even share his worries with any person and when my brother Mr. Bill Gates, wakes up in the dark night, when the whole United States of America enjoys sound sleep, the eyes of my brother Mr. Bill Gates look at the roof of the room with no or less hope with only one question : NOW WHAT TO DO? Since today, I never accused myself for anything. Since today, I never blamed myself for any matter. But today, sometimes a feeling of hatred comes to my mind. The reason, only reason for this hatred for myself is because of the fact that I cannot reach persoanlly and contact Mr. Bill Gates to put an end to his worries and troubles, because I know I can. But don't be worried my brothers and sisters (Microsoft Team, Microsoft Representatives, Governing Board of Microsoft Corporation) I have commenced my mission to contact your Worthy Chairman, Mr. Bill Gates. You all wait for me. You all pray for my visit. You all can depend and bank upon me with full interest and confidence, because when I reach you, I will eat all worries and troubles of Microsoft Corporation. Till today I was blind in my power. I know I can do anything that is good, in this world. This fact, of great power, never made me to do work in open market. Because of such huge powers embodied in me, I prefered to live in poverty, to abondon all ancestral property and do no business - that can help me to earn money. As a result, I could not manage to reach United States of America to help your Chairman. Till today I was satisfied with the little food, that God gives me. Till now, I was happy with all (virtually nothing) that I had. I never wished to work, in open market, because I have no desire to earn money or get fame, because fame and excess money attracts false friends and selfish people. I hate false and selfish society. Now, I have prepared myself to work, to earnand reach Mr. Bill Gates. I have commenced my business of gem and jewelry in local market. But I am confident very soon I will penetrate in every street of every nation and earn money. I have put myself in business today, to help my brother and your Chairman, Mr. Bill Gates. I assure all of you, to please shun your worries and live a normal life. I promise all of you, when I reach you, I will not only burn all your worries but also recover any losses, give you peace and prosperity and happiness to all of you. Don't allow anyone or any thought to generate your minds and souls, that can make you restless. Beleive me, very soon I will reach you. I have chosen to put myself in danger and to work and endanger my peace and earn money to reach you. As a matter of fact, I am the only person, who is responsible to [name removed] CORPORATION. Today I have none in my business entity B B CORPORATION. Today I am alone in [name removed] CORPORATION, but very soon the whole world will be stitched in [name removed] CORPORATION, and don't forget, [name removed] CORPORATION will work till I, [name removed] alias [name removed], am alive. The worldly death of [name removed] will be the end of [name removed] CORPORATION. Death of [name removed] will mourn and make sad the whole world, because thereafter the world will not get the unique resources of [name removed] alias [name removed]. For ages to come this world will remember and never forget the specializations of [name removed]. Don't know till when the worldly people pray to God, to give birth to one more [name removed] with such unique resources and specializations. Now, since I am forwarding myself to you people, for you all, please don't try to show me your pride for the money you have. I would get hurt if you try or attempt to purchaseme or my services. Never try to offer me money, I know, you people are the wealthiest people in this world today and very soon I will be the wealthiest man on the earth. I respect you all and ask to never be blind in the power of money. I myself don't know, why I love Mr. Bill Gates. I myslef don't know why tears come out of my eyes when I remember Mr. Bill Gates. I am myself unaware, why I feel Mr. Bill Gates, as if my respectable brother. I am myself unaware why ..........., ....., my brother Mr. Bill Gates. But anyhow, when I have accepted Mr. Bill Gates as my brother, I am morally bound to help my brother, Mr. Bill Gates. This is no obligation (to help MICROSOFT CORPORATION), this is my duty to help MICROSOFT CORPORATION. Since, I call Mr. Bill Gates my brother, I am morally liable to shed my blood where Mr. Bill Gates shed tears. I am morally liable, because of my love towards Mr. Bill Gates, to even embrace death, if time requires so, for the sake of peace & prosperity of Mr. Bill Gates. Love is nothing but a form of God. It is wisely said, God is Love and Love is God. Love is very dangerous. Mostly the end of love is the end of life and nothing else. Don't know why people love. Love leads to nowhere some say those who love are foolish and mad, but ask those who Love. For them Love Is Life. I cannot say anything on this matter, but to declare NO HARM TO MR. BILL GATES. [name removed] IS NOT A ........... THAT ANYTHING OR ANYPERSON COULD DARE TO TRESSPASS THE PEACE AND PROSPERITY OF THOSE WHOM [name removed] LOVES. Microsoft men don't get scared of any person and just pray for the ealy and immediate commencement and flourish of my business entity to thelp me earn money to reach you. Pray, pray and pray but don't allow worries to prey you. Convey my compliments to Mr. Bill Gates. I assure you my great respect for the decorum of MICROSOFT CORPORATION.
[name, address, phone number removed]

Friday, November 03, 2006

Yoga Keyboard

To cleanse the pallette from the truly-overboard-insane, here's one that's just a little bit crazy.

Dear Mr Gates,
I have been watching with much interest and curiosity your ITskills and your attempts to improve them.Iam a corporate lawyer and an author on yoga and International Relations.My 30 years' experience with yoga prompt me to say that it is quite possible to copypaste one's thoughts on the monitor without using keyboard. What is your opinion?Regards