Thursday, October 12, 2006

They're lying to LL Cool J!

So, I was looking for a new nutjob to post about, and came across this. He's famous, but he's living in his car, and "they" are lieing to LL Cool J about him. WE HAVE A WINNER!

Dear Mr.Gates,
My,name is [name removed],from [address removed] Father,[name removed].Ms.Oprah Winfrey is a friend of the family.She and I have never met in person .We became close over the telephone.Stedman and I will become best of friends.Which,hasn't taken place yet.I've been the talk of Hollywood since the early 60's till the present time.I,always told Oprah I was coming to California in 2005.I've been here since Aug.2,2005 in Buellton,Ca..Left there and moved to Santa Maria,Ca. Aug.24,2005.I'm experiencing, "Identity Theft" and I'm cut off from my" Big Accounts'.LL.CoolJ,know that I'm here but Janet Jackson has lied to him about me.The police told,him I'm under an investigation.Which is a lie and they are cutting me ,off from the outside.I'm living, out of my car and I'm flat broke.They won't even, let me work.I'm living,out of my car with no substanial help from anyone.I eat,at the Salvation Army Mon.-Fri at noon.Sat. at a Burger Place for free and Russel Park 1:30pm.Or at Church.LL.,knows I'm here but they are lying to him profusely.I'm a celebrity and Multi-Billionaire.Co-owner to the Oprah Winfrey Show,Jay Leno,David Letterman,Eve,Tyra Bank Show,America's Next Top Model,Today Show,American Idol,Pyriamid,Barbara Walters,Johnny Carson,Lucille Ball,Jaguars,Houston Texans,Wizards,BoBcats,etc....I ,could go on and on!I,need for you contact Oprah and she will Contact LL.CooLJ so,I can get out of here and persue my career.Please,contact me at [phone number removed] that's [phone number removed] this is [name removed] a future employee of mine.Plesae, take this message serious.This is life or death, situation. They are trying to get me,killed here.Checkout, my story with LL.CooLJ.He Thinks,I have his telephone number. But I don't have it.P.S.I've tried to contact Mr.Spielberg,Densel Washington,Michael Jordan,Tiger Woods,Prince,Floyd Mayweather,Halle Bery,Persia White,Destiny Child etc...Thanks, all are my friends. [name removed]


Blogger Wiwille said...

Did mamma say knock him out?

10/12/2006 08:52:00 PM  
Blogger Cuatro said...

That's pretty crazy, although you totally spelled "lying" wrong in your title. You may want to fix that, because even the crazy guy spelled it correctly in his email... Just a thought.

10/18/2006 08:02:00 AM  
Blogger Customer Service Hell said...

Doh. Thanks for the spellcheck.

10/19/2006 09:37:00 AM  
Blogger Brian said...

Holy crap, can I have his phone number and call him pretending to be Bill Gates??? Come on, you know what I can do with this.

10/27/2006 08:04:00 AM  
Blogger Customer Service Hell said...

Oh, how I wish I could, Brian. Unfortunately, I just can't bring myself to reveal other people's personal information. Tempting, though.

10/30/2006 05:03:00 PM  

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